I am new to this whole blogger thing. So I find myself drawing a blank as to which words to put on the page. I should apologize to those of you who are going to read this hopes of great writing, maybe that will come later. As for now this is just random thoughts on a page. I have recently found myself in a struggle. More with myself than with another individual. The struggle I am in is how to gain happiness. I know I want to be happy, but as far as what makes me happy is a blank. I've never been the type that has needed a man to make me happy or material things of any kind. The past few years I've been wondering through life in hopes that someone or something can point me in the right direction towards happiness. Yet every road I've traveled has lead me to the same dead end. I guess I should start at the beginning of this story and give you a little background into my life. I used to be an all American career woman (whatever that means). I had the 9-5 office job and was fresh out of high school. Sure at first this was great. I was barely 19 and had a job most of my friends would kill for. I wasn't serving questionable food to ungrateful customers any longer. I had my own office with my own extension and computer. Life was good. Well this got old quick. Soon it was almost 6 years later and I realized I've done nothing but go to work everyday. I put off college and dreams of any kind just to get ahead in the world. Why would anyone want to do this? Young and dumb I guess or just not thinking of what else the world had to offer at that time. So at the young age of 25 I quit my high paying and high stress job to start school again. I found myself taking a step backwards. I had my own place, car, bills and suddenly couldn't afford these things anymore. I moved back in with my parents and started going back to school. I felt accomplished for a while. Now here I am 27, still living at Mommy's and going to school. Now I know what you are thinking..at least you are going to school and doing something. I feel the same way however, I must say that I do not feel as accomplished as I once had. I am slowly realizing that I am now closer to 30 than 20 and life seems to be slipping away. When I was younger I always thought that I would be married and have kids by this point in life. Now being here I can't even imagine what life would be like with those things. I guess at this point in life I'm craving some excitement or some change of some kind. What that is I am not exactly sure, but something other than the everyday life. When I find it I'll be sure to let you know.